…if you knew upfront that you would never get one?
For obvious reasons I am getting a lot of questions lately about my transition and that is great. I love to talk about it and all the conversations I have help me process the transformation myself too.
Some people ask me how long I knew about being a girl and the answer is, all my life. Even in my earliest memories I see myself in my sisters room trying on her clothes. I remember closing my eyes and counting to 10, then opening my eyes and hoping to be in a girls body.
As a consequence of that, some people also asume that my transition is scheduled, or in progress. Some even thought that when I came out on LinkedIn last month it was the last step in my transformation and that the medical steps were already completed. Nothing could be more true.
I came out to my wife about three months ago and to my kids about a month or so later. Everything is new and fresh.
One of the most difficult things in the Male-to-Female transformation process is your voice. Once you have gone through puberty your voice becomes what we recognise as a male voice and no hormone therapy on earth will change that. The only way to (try to) change it is via voice lessons and it will take at least 8 months up until 4 years. It takes an hour of practicing each day.
This little piece of text is of no concern to the Business Central community other than the fact that it relates to the webinar I did for Luc last week and that I asked Luc not to publish on YouTube.
The title of my blog is, would you configure a porsche if you knew you would never get one. This is roughly the knowledge I had when I came out three months ago. I knew off course about the concept of genderdisphoria and that with surgery and hormones you could transform from male-to-female and vice versa. But I knew that in the same way as that I new Porsche had a model that was called 911. I did not know any details and why would I. I was married, I have 5 kids and a great career. Why would I spend a lot of time learning the details of a process that was not meant for me.
I have learned a lot in the last few months about myself and about the transformation process that I will go through in the next few years. It’s going to require a lot of my time and that time is going to come from somewhere as there are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. It means simply that I don’t have time to prepare webinars like you noticed earlier this week.
There is also another component that I had not realised upfront and that I tried to explain in a very poor way during the webinar last week.
As a person, I am finally happy with myself. I feel that as Marije I can finaly be the human being, a female human being that I always was deep inside.
The flipside of that is that before comming out, I was trying to compensate for my unhappiness. The Navision/Business Central community was one way of compensating and looking back over the years I have spent an unrealistic amount of time trying to get recognised. Which I did.
That does not mean in any way that during that period I was an unhappy person and the community, and especially the MVP award from Microsoft has brought me a lot.
Unfortunately the same award also brought unwanted side effects like I explained in the webinar like extreme jealousy from others that I did not know how to deal with. This, together with the pressure from Microsoft to be politically correct lead to the decision a few years back to leave the MVP program on a voluntary bases. Something that is unheard of.
This then again eventualy led to my comming out a few months ago, but that is a story for another day.
About Best Practices and our community…
Some of you were upset that I highjacked an hour of your life with my emotions while promising to talk about development best practices for per-tenant extensions.
The reason why the webinar is scheduled is that I have a cool new job which allows me to actually combine what I love and getting financial compensation for it.
Last january I joined PrintVis, an ISV from Denmark with a specialization in the printing industry. My primary responsibility at PrintVis is taking care of our global partner network and make sure that our partners get what they need from a technical perspective to do their job in an effective way.
Luc and I are close friends, we live at only half an hours drive from one another and we talk on a regular bases. I told Luc about the progress I was making in making best practices and we decided it would be cool to share it with the whole community.
My world was justed turned upside down only days before the webinar and I called Luc that I wanted to cancel.
Luc had no idea what was going on in my personal life, at that point only my wife knew that. He was a little pissed about me cancelling and I was a little pissed back that I was cancelling for a good reason but I was not ready to tell him yet.
When I called Luc in August to tell him about my transformation we also got to talk about the webinar and why I had cancelled it. We talked a little about if we should reschedule it and we both agreed that the topic was important and that nobody else was essentially picking up talking about best practices after I “left” the community a few years ago.
This was another “emotion” that I decided to share with you in the webinar that from what I could see on twitter a lot of you could agree on, which made me happy. My statement was that we are in a state of over-engineering things as a community.
The reason for over-engineering is an obvious one. With Visual Studo Code, Git, PowerShell, API’s and Docker we finally have tools to become proffessional. But this has lead in the last few years to extreme over engineering and partners having their best Business Central developers doing CI/CD instead of helping their customers.
I think we need to go back to our roots without throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
This is what I want to focus on in my new role at PrintVis and what I want to start blogging and evangalizing about.
I hope that you are patient with me and that you take the time and see what will come.
There is a lot of content in my head and great ideas that I have already discussed with my colleagues at PrintVis.
As a concrete takeaway you can use after this blog: “The best Per-Tenant-Extension” is “No Per-Tenant-Extension” and the software that is the easiest to maintain is software that you are not responsible for. We are not reusing each others ideas enough.
More is to come, and if you are having difficulties being patient, you can always talk to your manager and ask them to become a PrintVis partner. We are still looking for both implementation and service partners. Just drop me a line.
With that, this blog again comes to an end. Thank you for reading, get back to your families because it is weekend. I’m going to have a cup of coffee with my brother Rene who is on his way here on his Harley.
With a lot of love,